Monday, 13 January 2014

Adoption Journey: The Call

It's funny that when you're really excited and wanting something to happen, time seems to slow down, the clock appears to stop - or sometimes it even seems to go backwards. Like the last day of school, or Christmas Eve. But, then like summer break, or Christmas day; it finally comes but then that bloody clock speeds right up and it's over in a blink of an eye. That's how this whole adoption process has seemed to go. When we started the process back in January it seemed like it would be forever before we were done all the paper work and approved, and that it was beyond wishful thinking that we would get a placement by the end of the year. Then we were officially approved and I thought I knew what joy was.

Then we had our meeting with the placement worker. She went over all of our selections we'd made, (you know the 6 page book where we had to rate aspects of a child that we'd be okay/not okay with) making sure we didn't want to make any changes. She said that because of how open and willing we were to take a child with pretty much any sort of background, and the fact that I was at home, we most likely wouldn't have to wait too long. That was Friday, October 4. She said that October and November are usually their busiest months with placements so I just knew that we would have a child by the end of the year like we'd prayed for. 

People always seem to remember where they were for life changing events. You ask someone where they were for the moon landing, or 9-11 or Miley Cyrus twerking and they'll all be able to tell you. Here's what my day looked like the day it changed forever. Wednesday, October 9, five days since we met with the placement worker. I was on my way in to a massage appointment when Jason called me. I remember hearing the nervousness in his voice as he told me about a baby girl that had been born that day that they had called him about. Hearing the uncertainty as he told me it was a risky situation because they'd never worked with the birth family before, so they didn't really know what to expect. But most of all, I remember hearing the joy in his voice, that this precious newborn baby girl could be ours. Neither of us cared that both sides of her family are riddled with mental health issues, that there are substance abuse issues with her birth parents, or that there's probably a 50/50 chance that she could go back to the birth-mom (or someone in her family). All we heard is there's a baby girl that needs love, and there's a chance she'll grow to call you Mama and Daddy, and that was good enough for us. We knew that we were signing up for a long road of ups and downs, and that after we loved and raised this sweet girl for a year she could end up going to some member of her bio family which would obviously be heart breaking. But how could we say no, when there is even a slight chance that we could get to keep her forever.

(we finally get to fill in those dotted lines)

After my massage we had a phone conference with the placement worker to go over all the information they currently had. About birth-mom and the little bit they knew about her family, what they know about bio-dad. How many access visits the family wants/gets, an estimate of how long we can expect it to take if we do get to legally adopt her. She said there was a possibility of us getting to meet her Thursday, but she would be discharged Friday and we would either get to pick her up from the hospital, or her worker would drop her off at our house. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! The next thing to do was head to Babies R Us. Ok, so anyone who knows me, knows I have a serious problem when it comes to all things baby. Jason would back away in fear from the look I got in my eye whenever I found out a friend was pregnant, mostly because he knew it would end with me coming home with at least one or two things for myself when I went shopping for them hehe. So, unleashing me unsupervised in a baby store mere hours after finding out I was about to become a mother - probably not the best idea. But, I did quite well. All I went in the store for was a change pad & cover, a crib sheet and some bottles, and miraculously that's all I came out with. (I did have about 6 different pieces of cute clothes, but I somehow found the willpower to put them back.) It was a new kind of experience being in a store shopping for myself.

The next stop I had to make was to our friends house so they could unload an unhealthy amount of baby paraphernalia on me. I came away laden down with five giant totes full of all sorts of baby girl goodies. Good thing we already traded in our coolness for a mini-van because I came away from there looking like I'd just moved out. I had a ton of fun sorting through all the clothes, although the house looked like an episode of Hoarders after I was done. By then it was bedtime, but there was no way I was going to be able to sleep (Jason had absolutely no problem accomplishing that) I had 9 months of nesting to cram into two days, and an ass-ton of laundry to do. So as I lay awake in the spare bed listening to the whack, whack, whack of all the snaps on all the baby clothes (seriously those bloody things are like all snaps) I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by a sense of peace and immense happiness. I thought I knew joy.

You can find our other adoption posts here, here, here, here, here, and here.

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